By: Kate Merrihew – Director of Education and Marketing
It was my first year of appraising and my work number rang after hours. I remember thinking it was rude for someone to call that late, but I naively answered, without taking a moment to breathe. On the other line was a woman who was clearly distressed. She was going through, what sounded like, a tough divorce and needed me to appraise their joint property. The problem was, he was living in the property and had changed the locks. He had gotten his own appraisal and was attempting to use it to negotiate and she wanted a “dog in the fight.”
Sound familiar? I am sure that you have heard a story like this or experienced a similar issue yourself. What did you do? Did you calmly tell the client that though you understand her frustration and would be happy to help, it would be best to resume this call in the morning?
If so, I’m proud of you. That was not what I did. 1-2 hours later I was still on the phone listening to the personal details. I was a new appraiser and though relatively experienced with customer service, I found myself at a loss. What does one do when faced with a crying, screaming, complacent or argumentative client? What if the other person is a co-worker? A boss?
No matter the situation, one of the first things to consider in conflict resolution is to be prepared. The energy that you bring to any type of mediation will determine the mood. Emotions and energy are contagious. Is this truly the best time to have this conversation? The client will rarely fault you for saying that you need a minute and will call them when you are “back at your computer,” or “can give them your full attention.”
As appraisers, we are not necessarily their “dog in the fight,” as we seek to determine an UNBIASED opinion of market value, but we are also human. It is important to remember that we need to set ourselves up to lead with professionalism but also a sense of integrity and community. Ask yourself – are you listening to UNDERSTAND or listening to DEFEND?
I have had a few clients similar to that late-night call. I am much better at setting the stage for a constructive conversation but that doesn’t make it any easier to hear someone that is clearly struggling and wanting to be acknowledged. There are many more steps that we can take to make better decisions, diffuse and move forward (I will likely be discussing them in the newsletter in the coming months) but I will leave you with this thought for now.
“Seek to understand and then to be understood.” – Stephen Covey